How Anxiety Became a Friend: Martha Beck’s Journey Beyond Anxiety
Martha Beck has lived with anxiety for most of her life, merging the two into a singular identity. Realizing she could never completely escape it, Beck learned to cope. Fortunately, anxiousness is no longer as dire now as it was only a couple of years ago; most recently, she has learned to accept and understand it rather than completely dismiss it. Changing her perspective enabled tremendous self-discovery, allowing her to move onto a more serene, creative, and fulfilled life.
Beck, a bestselling author and life coach, wanted to investigate anxiety more deeply when the pandemic took hold. She hoped that by doing so, she would be able to help her clients on a much deeper level. In the process, Beck also spent years meditating and following traditional advice for stress relief by using medication. Yet, a fundamental question remains: Is there really more to life than inner peace?
How to Radically Embrace Anxiety
Consider treating yourself the same way you would a frightened animal. Beck truly understood that it is okay not to suppress or eliminate anxious thoughts; instead, it is acceptable to lean into and embrace them.
What would you do if a cold, frightened puppy awaited you at your doorstep?” she explains. “It would be unreasonable to yell at the puppy or shout at it to calm down. You would instead crouch to its level, gently speak, and provide a sense of safety.”
This was the approach she took with herself. Whenever she felt anxiety approaching, she welcomed it instead of resisting it. The outcomes were astounding. “From my body to my mind to my emotions, everything felt completely different,” he recalls. And then I became even more interested. Something had become more interesting… more creative.”
The Anxiety-Creativity Toggle Effect
Beck noticed something monotonous and boring. She couldn’t help but wonder why her anxiety disappeared whenever she was entirely focused on creative work. That new information formed the cornerstone of Beck’s book, Beyond Anxiety: Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life’s Purpose. She paints anxiety and creativity as two different ends of a switch-one turns on while the other turns off at the extreme.
To test the theory, she decided to do an activity that she enjoyed yet never made time for: nonstop painting. She took a different approach; first, she spent hours on end painting. This provided her with a sense of excitement stronger than any drugs. And he wasn’t alone. Participants who took part in her online workshops referenced the same feelings.
“Until I turned 60, I was perpetually anxious, but not for the last couple of years, and I attribute it to creativity,” she expresses.
The Culture of Fear
Beck argues that anxiety is a cultural issue rather than an individual one. Everything from news to social media and politicians thrives on fear to derive attention. As she declares, “Nothing gets higher levels of attention than fear, and I mean nothing- not even sex.”
As a result, a society constantly judges, compares, and polarizes itself. As Beck states, fear renders us defensive, rageful, and desperate for control. “It brings out our worst characteristics,” she explains. We lash out, we tend to numb ourselves, and we cling to anything that can give a sense of certainty.”
She is convinced that this is why so many today feel paralyzed. They choose to ignore the fact that even those who do serious personal work, confronting trauma and striving to live authentically face a deep-rooted struggle with anxiety. The bottom line, as Beck concludes, is that they need to understand that it should not only be the focus on memory but also on understanding how to get rid of the anxiety-inducing memories and replace them with a lot more motivating, such as curiosity and creativity.
A Life beyond Anxiety
To Beck, creativity is not just about creating masterpieces. It’s about doing anything that Kindles is interested in. “It could be problem-solving, cooking, painting, writing, or gardening. It’s anything that involves creating,” she explains. Creation channels the mind’s energy away from anxiety and into the realm of possibility.
She motivates people to adopt creativity as a necessity and not a luxury, especially for mental health. “If your mind is feeling foggy, do something. Approach the dullest ember of curiosity,” she states. “Try a new dish, watch documentaries, or doodle on a notepad. Passion doesn’t ignite like a bolt; it starts as a whisper.”
Revolutionizing Achievement
Even with her fame in the self-help industry (she’s known for being “Oprah Winfrey’s life coach”), Beck continually states that she does not crave customary success. “I don’t care about book sales or media appearances,” she chuckles. “What gets me excited is my new painting. That is what I am excited about.”
“If my book helps people, that is excellent. But if it doesn’t? That is also fine. I am over everything and already thinking of what to do next.” She does what she says and fully follows the philosophy of non-attachment.
An extreme view towards life and love
Not every part of Beck’s revolutionary view on anxiety is diagnosed with a remedy, and that set mindset can be found planted in every part of her life. She grew up in a devout Mormon family, but after her father abused the power he was given as a well-known scholar in the community, she severed ties with the church.
She subsequently left academia, where she had received several degrees from Harvard, to pursue a career as a life coach, a choice that perplexed her intellectual contemporaries.
Her private life is just as unusual. She and her partner, Karen, have been together for over two decades, but their relationship has, in recent years, grown also to include writer and podcaster Rowan Mangan. “We didn’t set out to be a ‘trouper,'” explains Beck, “but love doesn’t fit into society’s boxes.”
Difficult to comprehend for some, polyamory is no different than any non-monogamous family setup, and as Beck puts it, analogies help clarify, “No one questions a mother’s ability to love multiple children. So why should romantic love be any different?”
The Evolution of Polygamous Relation Integration into Society
Beck firmly believes that profound changes could happen in the world with just a bit of creativity instead of fear. She believes embracing creativity can tackle fundamental issues such as climate change, social justice, and innovation, saying, “The potential is enormous.” Beck says, “Instead of spinning in anxiety, imagine if people channeled that energy into solving real problems.”
Creativity is an inexhaustible resource, even if one can’t pursue it as one likes. Beck says everyone should try to make time for creativity in their lives, even if it is just a part of the day, saying, “The capitalist mindset tells us that creativity is frivolous unless it makes money.” While creativity has a binding of joy, Beck strongly believes it is essential for society to prosper.
The Pitfalls of Too Much Online Information
If you feel lost, Beck suggests staying calm. “Most people aren’t uninspired-they’re tired,” she warns.
“Before feeling passionate about anything, you have to recharge.”
Then, pursue your interests, no matter how tiny they may be. “Let us assume space interests you slightly. You could watch a documentary on meteors. After that, perhaps you could purchase a telescope. Pretty soon, you are outside looking up and are once again filled with wonder.”
She is convinced this remedies anxiety. Not some harsh self-care regimen or combat against anxious thoughts, but simply changing the emphasis from fear to exploration, from stress to imagination.
“I chose to feel no longer afraid all the time,” she states. “And that choice altered everything.”
Reference
The anxiety secret: how the world’s leading life coach stopped living in fear
